my house of cards

my house of cards has fallen down and whither have they gone? everything i hold dear can be destroyed by something i despise. sin is a dream-eater that has devoured many things i hold dear. i have sacrificed portions of my soul to the dark in return for an abyss of guilt. one card is left to me on which i must build again, the ace of hearts. why should it be this particular card? christ is first among all who affirm that they love. his love is supreme and different from other loves. he it is that has the love which may pierce through my grime and dirt to my very soul. previously, i had placed this ‘card’ last and had built the rest before it. i thought it would do well as a crowning jewel. however, christ must be the basis for everything, not the afterthought of everything. i must glorify him before i do anything else. on this foundation i must build my house, my temple, that the powers of hell prevail not against it.

the void

there’s a God-shaped hole in all of us and well this is. i have found no complete satisfaction in anything or anyone. i yearn for something that can patch up this hole and yet have found nothing. i do not think that covering the hole, fixing it even, is the solution. i have come to the conclusion that the hole is not the problem but that trying to push it under is the real problem. not paying attention to the fact that one does in fact need God. he is the only one that is able to fill each and every one of us to the brim and even more. this hole we possess is not a deformity nor is it something to be ashamed of but it is an opportunity to give utmost glory to God in that he only is able to fill it.

il y a un vide formé par dieu au coeur de chaque homme.

(pan)theism

 

i believe in pantheism though not particularly the pantheism one usually thinks of. i do not believe that god is everything nor does everything a container of God. rather, i believe that one is able to see God in everything. when i look into a mirror, i see myself but the mirror is not me neither does the mirror contain me. when i look into creation i see God but creation is not God neither is creation able to contain God. this brings up another point of possible contention. did God truly enter the world as a man? yes and no – did all of God come into this world? no; was he who came into this world all of God? indisputably yes. creation is not able to contain God but God is able to enter creation. a basin is not able to contain the ocean but the ocean is able to enter a basin; is that which is in the basin any less ocean than that which is outside the basin? no, and yet it has taken on a different form – ocean to be sure but also a basin of water nonetheless.

a further observation may be made in looking at the physical properties of light. waves of light may be refracted through a prism or reflected in a mirror. a refraction through a prism fundamentally changes the properties of the light spectrum. it splits it up into different attributes which are disjointed from each other and do not form a cohesive whole. reflection on the other hand preserves the properties of that which is reflected. it shows varying quantities of depth, but it does indeed allow the image to come through unaltered.

God is there and he is watching/the signs are everywhere/supernatural/God is there, there’s no denying/it’s supernatural/i see him everywhere/God is there, God is here, god is there/everywhere/my God is everywhere/God is there, God is here, God is there/God is there/supernatural/some things just cannot be explained